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| HUMOR: That Friendly Wal-Mart Gal |
| Louis Cannon | 1/11/10 |
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| Back to the News Summaries |
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I was disturbed when I read Daily Post writer Bill Hudson’s recent multi-part tirade about the ongoing Big Box scandal at Town Hall.
Mr. Hudson seems to feel that Pagosa Springs has a reputation as a “friendly, small town resort” while corporate Wal-Mart, Target and their thousands of superstores are anything but friendly — I believe he even used the word “nightmare” to describe Big Box stores.
In Part Five of his article series, Mr. Hudson claims that he visited the Durango Wal-Mart to interview some of the shoppers, and he reported that the unfriendly people coming out of Wal-Mart thought the store was friendly, and the friendly shoppers he met said Wal-Mart was unfriendly.
I don't believe a word of it.
 I went shopping at the Durango Wal-Mart just this past weekend, and I am pleased to report that I found Wal-Mart extremely friendly.
Once I had filled my cart with groceries, various automotive supplies and a half dozen music CDs (I was particularly pleased to find a Waylon Jennings compilation for $7.99) I headed for the checkout stand.
“Welcome, Wal-Mart shopper,” said the friendly woman’s voice. “Please scan your first item and place it in the bagging area. Or chose skip bagging.”
“Don’t mind if I do,” I replied. As I was scanning my first item, I told the woman, “You seem like a real friendly person. Have you been working here long?”
I think she misunderstood me, because she responded, “I see you’re a fan of Waylon Jennings. Wal-Mart has a great selection of other country artists in our electronics department. Please take some time to explore our music offerings next time you visit Wal-Mart.”
“Well, I’ll be sure to do that,” I replied. “I appreciate a woman with good taste in music. In fact, I bet, with that pleasant voice of yours, you're a probably a professional performer?”
She was obviously a shy person, because she ignored my question again — though I admit, I was probably acting a little bit pushy. She tried to change the subject, just as I finished scanning a box of imported crackers.
“Have you visited our cheese department?” she asked in that same friendly, inviting voice. “Wal-Mart features imported chesses from around the world, perfect for entertaining.”
“Entertaining?” I replied. “Well, I don’t do much entertaining. I’m kind of a secluded bachelor type. But I probably would entertain a lot more, if I had a friendly sounding gal like you around.” I had slipped in that comment about being a secluded bachelor, just so she wouldn’t start thinking I was the playboy type. I hate it when friendly women think I’m the playboy type.
“Our men’s Hanes brand t-shirts are on sale all this week,” she told me. She had obviously noticed the package of Hanes socks I had just finished scanning. “You’d look great in a new Hanes t-shirt.”
Now we were getting somewhere. She was obviously noticing my physique — which I have to admit is pretty darn good for a 48-year-old man.
And she had also noticed that I liked to buy items on sale. Observant.
“Thanks for that suggestion,” I told her. “I will try and get back here before the end of the week and pick up some of those Hanes t-shirts. Maybe I’ll happen to come through your same checkout stand. You never know.”
I can be pretty friendly myself, when I want to.
“When you're through scanning your purchases, please touch the screen to select your method of payment,” she advised me, thoughtfully. I was appreciating her voice more every minute.
I chose to pay by credit card. I think women are more impressed if you pay by credit card.
“Please sign your name in the box shown on the small screen, and remember to take your receipt,” she said in that same friendly voice.
“I sure will,” I told her.
“Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart, and please visit us again soon,” she said in an almost unbearably inviting voice.
No question about it. I will be back soon — real soon.
Maybe I’ll get her name next time. |
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